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TBI Health and Wellness

Social Communcation


    arrowright (1K) A short, easy version

Do you communicate, or do you just talk?

Communicating is more than talking. It takes skill and can be hard for a person with a traumatic brain injury (TBI). To communicate, you need to do certain things and avoid other things.

These are things you need to do:

  1. listen and ask questions
  2. take turns talking and listening
  3. give accurate information
  4. be organized and get to the point
  5. keep your emotions under control
  6. be aware of how you are affecting the other person

These are things that you need to avoid:

  1. interrupting
  2. rambling
  3. making the other person do all of the work to keep the conversation going
  4. yelling
  5. making comments that others might think are rude or mean

What happens if someone's communicating skills are not good?

  1. It may be "too much work" to communicate, so he or she may not try.
  2. Others may avoid having conversations with the person.
  3. It could become difficult to make or keep friends; it may be hard to find a "girlfriend" or a "boyfriend."
  4. It may be hard to keep a job.
  5. The person may not feel very good about himself or herself.
  6. In the end, some people start to feel isolated. This feeling can last a long time.

Signs and Symptoms

These are signs that a person's communication skills might need improvement:

  • Conversations may be confusing to others.
  • When they talk, they may give too little or too much information.
  • They might sound disorganized.
  • They might ramble and repeat themselves.
  • They might not catch and correct errors they make when talking.
  • They may get off the topic.
  • They may not give enough detail.
  • What they say may not be interesting.
  • They may talk or process information too slowly.
  • The other person may have to ask a lot of questions to keep the conversation going. They may not know how to use "clues" or "hints" from the other person. This includes things like gestures, eye contact, and emotions. Other hints might be how close to stand to the other person, or how loud to talk. Here are more examples of the kinds of clues people might miss:
    • What is the speaker driving at? What is her intent?
    • Is the other person uncomfortable?
    • Does he seem to be in a bad mood? Is he sad?
    • Does she look like she's in a hurry?

Re-learning Communication Skills

If you, or someone you know, has some of these symptoms after a TBI, there is good news: Communication skills can be improved. Training and practice help. Practice in real-life situations is especially good. One good way to work on your social communication skills is to join a group of people who are doing the same thing. Groups usually have several people with TBI. They usually are led by someone who is experienced in social communications. This could be a speech therapist, a psychotherapist, or both. If there do not happen to be any groups near you, you can still practice on your own with a partner, friend, or family members.

Here is what you can do:

  1. Go back and look at the lists of examples we gave you in these sections of this brochure:
         Do you communicate or do you just talk?
         Signs and Symptoms
    Use these lists to identify what your problems are.
  2. Ask a partner, friend, or family member to look at the same lists. Ask them what they think your problems are.
  3. Start with the things on your list that are the biggest problems for you or that limit you the most. If something shows up on your list and on your partner's list, it is probably an important one.
  4. Set a goal. Pick one of the bigger problems to work on.
  5. Practice and work on your goal. Have your partner or family member give you feedback. For example, if your goal is to not interrupt others, ask them to tell you when you interrupt someone. If your goal is to listen more closely and ask good questions, ask your partner to tell you when you do a good job. Ask them to remember specific examples for you.
  6. Practice these same skills in the "real world." Work on your goals when you are shopping, at school, or at a party. If your partner or family member gets to see you while you are having a conversation with a stranger, ask them to give you feedback.
  7. Keep practicing! You're almost sure to see improvement.

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